FFN Video: 4:59-6:35
Often the practices we engage in daily—as children and adults—that just feel natural. The immeasurable value of contributors to our lives can easily be overlooked as just another part of our busy routines. I consider myself fortunate during this Family, Friend, and Neighbor (FFN) Appreciation Week to have space to reflect and give thanks to the FFN providers who played an invaluable role in my life and the millions who do the same for Black children and families throughout the country each day.
As a young Black girl growing up in the 60’s, nothing was more important to my sense of worth and identity than my parents’ daily expressions of love for me and their assurance that I was “less than” no one. Their nurturance strengthened me and gave me confidence that I could do and be anything, despite the overt racism I encountered from some children (and adults), the leg-numbing fear I felt catching glimpses of real-time nightly news images of fire hosing and beating of people who looked like me, and ultimately the tears that followed assassinations of leaders seeking our Civil Rights.
Now, as an adult I can put a name to the extension of my parents’ care for me that I enjoyed as a child and later as a parent provided for my own children – FFN care. First, as a child in a military family who moved frequently from state to state, my community was in my mother’s hometown, and I felt a deep sense of home living in my grandmother’s house whenever my father was stationed overseas. As a Kindergartener, I benefited from the FFN experience. I enjoyed — know my mother benefited — from knowing that while she was at work teaching, I would be met at midday by my Nana, who my mother knew would care for me just as she would. My fondest memories from that time are of playing outside with my sister under the watchful eye of our extended community of my play-Uncle Bill, who would watch from his porch as we picked apples from his tree; Miss Daisy who would invite us in and allow us to take candies from the ever-present candy dish on her table; and Miss Dottie, who grew beautiful flowers on the corner.
Later as the parent of two children, I enjoyed the same comfort when my grandmother moved to my mother’s house and the two ladies would commute over to meet my children after school at the bus stop until my husband or I returned from work. I knew that they would allow them to have plenty of time to play and at the same time, with my mother being a retired teacher, I had full confidence that they would also get them started on their homework. My dream is to someday be the same source of love, safety, assurance, and joy for my future grandchildren. I want for them what I know is the beauty of Black FFN care – the pouring into Black children of love and knowledge that can only come from someone who deeply cares for them, knows from their own lives the unique challenges they will face as a Black child in the world, and fuels them with pride and joy in who they are and will grow to be. These benefits and the value of FFN care are what makes this time-honored form of care the preferred source of child care among Black families. Our children deserve nothing less than the “heart work” that FFN providers provide each day. And in this week of FFN Appreciation, my deepest gratitude goes out to the millions of Black providers who continue the legacy of care that has been cental to the development of Black children for centuries and the transformative role you play in the lives of our children today and the generations to come.
